Cheeks Spread For Some Kitchen Fun

One Man Banned is the site in question today, now is this man banned from somewhere, or carrying around drum, mouth organ and all that malarkey? If it is the latter I do so much hope he has a bell tied to his dick. Now I have found it hard to get banned from most place. I have always tried though. I have however been banned from a bowling alley and only 1 bar. I actually set fire to the bar, Myself and a friend John were both barmen at the time. We found ourselves with a whole 24 hours to kill till our next shift. John being Irish we decide to drink the time away. It was to be a pub crawl to end them all. We started at our place of work, The White Lion Of Mortimer In leafy Mitcham Surrey. After a quick Guinness to line the stomach we hoped the 264 to Thornton Heath Pond. Now we could start, The rules were, enter every pub we pass and drink alternate shots and points. So first pub 1 pint each, second pub 1 shot each and so on. A quick time check reveal its 1.30pm.. We made surprisingly good time arriving at Croydon town centre at around 3. Now the fun would start having pubs only 2 doors away from each other. We carried on until around 7pm when we decided to have flaming Sambucas. I preceded to blow mine covering the bar with the flaming liquid leaving a trail from the bar and onto the floor. At which point we were both banned. We carried on our crawl ending at around 3.30 am in the Riley’s Snooker Club to sit back and enjoy some giant Hot Dogs.

New Labour My Ass

Today’s site is UK Upskirt get a cheeky glimpse of some high quality ass.

Today has been one of those days;

1st. The postman now those guys piss me off something chronic. If your going to open someone’s gate have the decency to close it once you leave, the other thing that really get to me is them forging my signature on recorded deliveries and sticking them through the cat flap. I guess that’s what you get for failing your G.C.S.Es.

2nd. I get a letter from the water company saying they are going to take me to court for unpaid bill. Now fair enough you might say, but when the fuckers have been taking a direct debit out of my bank account for the last year it seems a bit harsh. 30 min on the phone to them and they are all apologetic.

3rd. Now this is the best, I’m a smoker and hate the idea of a smoking ban, I think it should come down to individual establishments to decide what they do. So imagine my surprise to read in the papers that the palace of Westminster is excluded from the ban. If that isn’t the most hypocritical thing you have ever heard! So it really is do as we say not as we do. Thanks New Labour, you really know how to look after the British public. You also have to consider the flip side of a smoking ban, as a result of this ban less cigarettes will be smoked so less will be brought so that’s less tax money. Which mean we will be getting more tax on something else, I’d put my money on fuel, that way the government can fuck us all!

What, What & All That Business

To be honest I don’t know how posh the wives are on Posh Wife. But I couldn’t care less. I mean I don’t care if she has a million in the bank or she is hitting her overdraft, as long as she takes off that little pink top I’m a happy man. So I found out that foxgloves are poisonous, The Garden if full of them. Not my choice but they are there. Which does bring up an interesting point, why do people have deadly flowers in their gardens. It’s just silly. Now I know a lot of people will say that they are “pretty” and “beautiful”. To those people I say “Would you keep a tiger in your airing cupboard”. Of course not, but this is also beautiful and deadly. I guess a plant isn’t going to go for your jugular, unless little shop of horrors is anything to go by. That is the thing though, we find it quite acceptable to have our garden as a death trap and we have Alan Titchmarsh to thank for this. So if you happen to be in Birmingham in the next couple of days and see him at the gardeners world show, you know what to do!

Pic Of The Year?

Now I do get to see a lot of porn from writing this blog, to be honest most of the last three years have revolved around porn. Now from the 1000s of picture set I have seen it does take something special to make me sit up and take notice. This set from Naughty Belle is one of those sets. This picture in particular is one of the most erotic images I have seen in years. The whole picture set is hot, don’t take my word for it, check it out yourself. Now it’s not hardcore but it doesn’t need to be, I guess it’s the difference between UK Erotica and UK XXX. I have never been a huge fan of girl on girl. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to turn up the opportunity and I have had the privilege of being ring side on numerous occasions. But I would much rather watch a girl and guy than a girl and girl. I think maybe because a girl and guy is something you can have a good wank to. A girl and girl is a more sedate and beautiful thing, like a fine wine or trip to an art gallery, you can only stand back in awe of it.

Close But No Cigar

You really have to check out this site Faye & Sandie if only for the fact that I had the opportunity to sleep with Faye. This was back when I was running a site with my partner we were always looking for girls to perform with us, one day we got a message from Faye in our mail box. My partner disallowed the encounter, simply because she wouldn’t let me sleep with a pornstar. (Something about her spoiling me). Never mind though.

On The Wrong End Of A Anal Pounding

Now I did have another gallery today but I came across this, (pardon the pun). Now if that is not the sweetest ass you have ever seen then your a very lucky person. I think I now understand the “peach” reference. You might want to take a few seconds to take it in this beautiful bum. But this is a truly wonderful sight. The site by the way is Naughty Belle It is a hot little site, Belle does webcam shows for her members and its full of the usual high quality pictures and videos, the gallery for this post has both a video and picture set for you to drool over. The thing I noticed about Belle site is there is a huge amount of girl on girl content which is nice. Now down to more serious business, I have just been fucked up the ass good and proper. I went to my local shop to get 3 cans of Coke, £1.86 can you handle it???. I remember when you could get a can of coke for 30p but 62p a can that’s a bit rich even for my pocket.

What A Race

Do you like MILFs? if you do you will love Demi from Simply Demi, dark hair, great legs and pretty hot too. Now I don’t have any problem classing Demi as a MILF, she clearly fits the criteria. So it has been a good day, after some gentle weeding in the garden. While we are on the subject why do weeds grow so fast, because they just mess up the garden. I’m not really into the whole gardening thing its just another way to strip you of your cash. I remember my parents were big into gardening, they spent thousands on it. It wouldn’t be so bad but with us only getting a few weeks of summer a year it seems such a waste. But my dear wife wanted to make the garden look nice so what can you do. So I had just started some gentle strimming and the damn thing started smoking and the engine seized. This had to be a message, all that was left to do was sit down and enjoy the grand prix. What a race, if you did get a chance to see it Oh My God, if you didn’t try and catch the highlight tonight. You really don’t want to miss it, it was a pretty eventful race.

It’s Only Jo Guest!!!!

Paris Hilton is back in jail and the cows are now back in their standing position. From what I heard she was dragged screaming from the court, now I would have paid good money to see that. Apparently she left because of her mental state. There’s some fodder for the tabloids and while where on the subject of tabloids Only Tease have some get content from Jo Guest as well as many other page 3 girls. To be honest I hadn’t seen her for a long time until these pictures showed up. She still does have a great ass, and they always say dynamite comes in small packages, they also say if you wank too much you will go blind. Logically both are probably wrong, I mean what if you need to blow something big up. You’re not going to use lots of small packages of TNT are you. No your going to have one big package. As to going blind through masturbation, I guess if your using some sort of drain cleaner as a lubricant and you get some splash back maybe so, but if your doing that blindness is really the least of your worries. The site is actually pretty cool and is full of some of the best know page 3 girls in great quality content.

Jim Can You Fix It For Me?

You have to hand it to Jim Slip from Jim Slip UK Street Sluts He is not a young fella, but manages to bed a bevy of young stunners. I’m surprised he can manage it still but fair play to him. I always have had contempt for dirty old men, however I can quite easily see myself turning into one. It always reminds me of the line from dazed and confused about the college girls always being the same age no matter how old you get. I mean it really isn’t that hard to get started in porn nowadays with the internet. I mean god, I had my naked white ass splashed over the net and did quite well to be honest, so really anybody can get on in this game. Although you need an angle, Jim has that angle and what with some cheeky Jim’ll fix it parody this site really is quite entertaining. I did see the strangest thing yesterday 9 cow in a row all lying down. That can’t be a good sign, can it? I mean animals are always the first to know when something is up aren’t they. So if they are all just chilling out it can mean only one of two things.

1 It’s going to be a nice sunny weekend.

2 The world is about to come to an abrupt end.

Of course there is the third option that they have found out that Paris Hilton has managed to get out of jail 3 days into her sentence, and they have had to sit down to absorb the news. Really I hope it’s the first option.

How An Adult Site Should Be

The site is UK Girls Downloads, the site says “I’m James and I like fucking girls. I like it so much that I decided to pack my job in at a haulage company and start this website. I advertise for girls from all over the United Kingdom to come to me or I will go to their homes and fuck them and my mate, Tom films it. Sometimes Tom gets to fuck the girls as well.” I would say join this site if not for the exclusive content, or the nubile British amateur at least so James can live his dream. It just goes to show anyone can be a porn star. You don’t need a huge dick, you don’t need a six pack, you don’t need to spend hundreds of pounds on a site designer, you don’t even need to spend thousands on advertising. You build a site like UK Girls Downloads and they will come. Its simplicity is genius, no flashy banners no bullshit sales pitch, just good honest amateur porn. All I can say is “Good on you James” The video I picked is of a real cutie called Lara Lee she just oozes sex appeal.

In other news I got to see Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby last night, Oh my god is that film funny. 1 piece in particular I gagged at. There are 2 guys sitting at the bar 1 says “I need to get my Gran something for her Birthday, she is going to be 88” His friend turns and says stone cold “What about a coffin”. Did I laugh. It also has Ali G playing A French man with the same accent as the policeman from Allo’ Allo’. Class In A Glass.